DNF: Geocache, Found: Mountain Lion

I had set out to climb a mountain, and had an adventure just getting to the park. After work, I went straight to bed and woke up at 2:00 in the morning. Threw myself in the car and downed a gallon of coffee. I had a handheld GPS but no car GPS, no smartphone. I was prepared with printed out directions, I knew where I wanted to be, it seemed fairly straightforward. Too bad the road was on fire. 

Welcome to California

By the time I figured out a new route and got to Anza Borrego, the sun was well on its way up and my head was pounding. I pulled over for a nap the first chance I got, and by the time I woke up my mountain plans were squashed. It was 115 degrees, the sun was too high. I found the first trailhead and fired up the GPS. Six miles in and out to Maidenhair Falls and a Geocache. Perfect.

I gave up on the cache 0.15 miles away from it at the Falls, which had some lovely moss but were pretty dry. I actually didn't realize I'd made it until later at the visitor center comparing their picture with mine. I couldn't figure out which way to go b/c I seemed to be at a very dead end..... I felt a little uncomfortable (I was alone), like I was being watched maybe. Then I looked down and saw a knife lying open on the rocks. Well, gee, I thought to myself why would someone leave a knife lying open on the rocks? Of course, they probably just had lunch there and forgot it, but my mind started playing with me, maybe they took it out to fend off a Mountain Lion and didn't succeed? There had been a car parked at the trailhead when I arrived, and I hadn't seen anyone else on the trail (it was gone when I got back, so I guess they went somewhere else) I picked up the knife, just in case, and put it in my pocket. I decided to turn back, I was just uncomfortable enough to decide a smiley wasn't worth getting eaten over.

So I started back, casually walking along, thinking how much easier it was to tell which way the trail went going the other direction... I was approaching a big path of boulders, still with more plantlife ahead of me (maybe a couple hundred yards from Maindenhair falls) about to climb down a big flat boulder toward the plants when 50-100 feet ahead of me, in the plants I heard a loud, angry, growl.

Oh. My. God.

I'm going to die out here.

I froze in my tracks for about 30 seconds. A ton of birds flew up and away, squawking as they went.  Time stopped.

I backed slowly up to a big boulder and climbed up on top of it to see all around me. One side was to a big flat rock wall, to minimize the directions it could come at me from. Maybe cornering myself wasn't a good idea, but I'm pretty confident I couldn't out run a puma if I tried, so it was probably the best bet. My heart has never raced so fast in my life. I stayed on top of the boulder for 5-10 minutes thinking. Or trying to think. Freaking out b/c my car was in the direction of the growl, and the trail seemed pretty one-way. Should I call 911? Then what, they get here in more than an hour and either I'm food by then or I'm back at the car, having totally wasted their time. Deep breath.. Deep Breath.. Deep Breath. 

Knees clattering against each other. I remembered I had a knife. Well it didn't help the last guy, but maybe I'll have better luck. Opened the knife in my right hand and held out a hiking pole in my left. Up until this point I'd been wondering why I'd brought them for this flat flat trail. I started shouting. I probably would have sounded ridiculous to any human who could hear me, saying everything that would come to mind "I'm big. I'm a big scary human with a weapon. I'm a vegetarian but I'll kill you if I have to. I'm not food. I will not be eaten today. Just turn around, because I'm scarier than a mountain lion., etc. " Made my way down the boulder, and got the heck off the trail. The trail went where the growl came from... instead scrambled along the rocks and boulders that were not where the plants were. Where I could see around me, and kept shouting. I'm not sure where the Mountain Lion went, I thought I heard more rustling moving away from me, but I just kept shouting and walking until I was back out completely in the open. Then I started laughing. I get it. I might never jump off a cliff, but I understand why people BASE jump. Never have I felt more alive, than after escaping death.

Never did stop to eat the sandwich I brought, but after it spent an hour in the car while I chatted with the nice volunteers in the visitor center, it was so yummy. Best sandwich I've ever had, probably had something to do with the adrenaline and the relief. The volunteers in the visitor center confirmed that a mountain lion does live in that pretty oasis of hellhole canyon, but assured me attacks on humans are rare. It was probably growling for the same reason I was shouting, to sound big and intimidating and make me go away, and advised me to next time bring a friend. Sound advice, but when I'm traveling for work, that can be difficult.

I was asked at work yesterday if I'd be going back there after this experience. I didn't need to think, "of course"

Maybe that was a stupid answer. But what would the point of living be, if every scary experience made me stop doing something I love? Of course I'll be back. It was too beautiful not to.